Category Career Query

My exams are three months away and I am already too bored of studies. I just don’t feel like picking up books now. At the rate I am going, I feel I will develop antipathy to anything that is related to academics.

Anything overdone brings this kind of reaction. Don’t study all the time take a break after two or three hours of continuous reading.

Go for a cup of tea or a glass of juice, an ice cream or whatever you like. Get back to your studies after a 20-30 minutes break, restart. You will feel good and not bored. After studying throughout the day go for jogging or brisk walk, talk to friends, joke around. Plan your studies systematically.

Clear your doubts the moment they arise and then proceed to the next, higher level. Do assignments and questions in an organised manner.

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My mother is too religious. Her religiosity is only increasing by the day. It’s fine as long as she does not impose it on others. But lately she has started imposing her faith on us, too. I don’t want to hurt her religious feelings but end up saying something against her finicky ways about pooja-paath. This makes her furious and she says that I will suffer for the bad words I say about religion. I do not know how to make her see reason. Can you?

Religiosity is something which is deeply set within a person, and in some cases it borders on fanaticism. One method, which usually works in such cases is not to attack the religiosity of your mother but to sway along with it to the extent possible without using any harsh words about religion.

Another way is not to do all those religious rituals if you don’t believe in them. You can be away from home so that you avoid saying anything bad. The third way to handle this problem is to frankly tell your feelings to your mother in an affectionate manner so that you are not against anything religious. But everything has to be done within a limit.

Find out objectively and factually what your mother expects. See if it can be managed without making you feel uncomfortable. Analyse why you don’t to do what she wants you to do. Is it because it is time-consuming or is there any other reason for it. Find out if you can put your views across to her without making her upset.

If you do things in a systematic manner, I am sure your mother will not impose anything on you. Have faith in yourself and in your mother and look at things factually, objectively and not emotionally.

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I have a good height and figure, and I have always wanted to be a model. But my parents are strictly against it. We have discussed this many times. They have said it clearly that I will have to leave them if I insist on this career choice. I love them, yet I cannot give up my passion. What do I do?

As you love your parents, you must also realise that your parents too love you. If you sit down and talk it over with them, you will know their fears and apprehensions. This way you will know if you can assure them about how you will ward off problems, which according to your parents, you might face. Once this is done, I am sure your parents will agree to your chosen profession. It is up to you to talk to them and to help them understand how you can take care of yourself, and in this way allay their fears.

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I think my parents are heading for a divorce. They don’t seem to be in love. They are always fighting, talking ill of each other to relatives and friends. I am facing immense emotional trauma and am unable to study or do anything. Most of the times I hate coming back home

Your emotional trauma is understandable. One way to tackle this is to talk it over with either of your parents, who is closer to you and with whom you fee comfortable. You can put across to either of them your fears and apprehensions and your inability to concentrate on your studies due to their quarrels. Since your parents would be concerned about your performance in examinations, if you request them to postpone arguing until you complete your examinations, they may agree to do so. This itself will give them time to contemplate about the issues on which they seem to have considerable conflict. And this may perhaps make them consider postponing separation.

In our life there are many things that happen which we don’t want. But when it does happen, it is important to face it with courage and to try see how one can achieve one’s goals without being affected by events and happenings. In your case you fear that the conflict between your parents may end in divorce. It may not necessarily end so, because many people do have conflicts and arguments but stay on as they do not want to break the family and like to stay together for the sake of their children.

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I am an 18-years-old college student. My problem is that my friends go out for parties and spend a lot of money in eating out in restaurants etc, whereas my parents do not give me enough pocket money for freaking out. I am frustrated because I am unable to do what my friends do. I know that we are not rich and I cannot spend like my friends, but I feel bad that the good years of my life are being wasted because of constraints. Please help me.

I can understand your feelings. I also find that you are very perceptive and understanding of your dilemma. Having secured admission in a good college for higher education, you should feel proud of your achievements. I am sure you are also aware how crucial the next few years will be in building your future.

Try to look at the positive things of life. Never allow yourself to feel inferior to your friends just because you are unable to spend like them. Imagine if you do well and become a successful manager, an IT professional, an IAS officer or any dream designation that you aspire for, how much your friends would admire your achievements. Once you set a goal for yourself you will also be able to divert your mind from the artificial pleasures of your friends.

Hence, to get over these disappointments, the best thing you can do is to think positively, set a goal for yourself, work towards the goal systematically and find happiness in spending time with your parents, sister or brother and others and those who think high and have a clear goal for themselves.

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