Category Ask the Psychologist

How to make Derrah game at home?

Derrah is a game like Noughts and Crosses and Go. It is a two-player game from North Africa and is easy to make and fun to play.

You will need:

  • Card or paper
  • Felt-tipped pen
  • Small coin
  • 12 matching seeds, stones, buttons, coins, paper, clips, or beads for each player

Be sure each players’ pieces are different. For example, use white seeds for one and black seeds for another, coins or different coloured buttons.

 

What to do:

  • In Africa, Derrah is played on a wooden board with rows of little round holes, but you can make your own game board. Just trace around a small coin on the paper, drawing six rows of seven circles each. That’s 42 circles that form a rectangle.
  • Decide who goes first. Then set all the pieces on the board, talking turns putting one piece at a time in any empty circle on the board. Only two pieces from the same player can be next to each other.
  • Then take turns moving pieces one space left or right, up or down – but not diagonally. The object is to get three pieces in a row. Choose your moves carefully to try to prevent your opponent from getting three in a row.
  • Each time you get three in a row, you can take one of your opponent’s pieces off the board.

The game ends when one player cannot make any more rows of three, or when all of a player’s pieces has been taken.

 

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I suffered from depression

I am a student of Class XII and my life is in mess. I used to be an above-average student, but now my standard is much lower than before. When I passed Class X, I took up science, but when I realised that I could not handle the pressure, it was already too late. As a result, I failed miserably. That whole year I suffered from depression. I could not talk to anybody, not even my parents. Whenever I tried talking to them, they were like “you are such a young boy, how could you have depression?” Mental health is taboo to the. Moreover, I was molested when I was a child, and somehow, I used to have these terrible guilt pangs that it was all my fault (which obviously didn’t help in improving the situation). But I was able to drag myself out of it and move ahead. But the Covid situation has ruined it once again. Please help.

Stigma over mental health is something we need to work on. Don’t blame yourself or feel guilty about things you cannot control. The fact that you helped yourself before demonstrates your resilience. Reflecting on how you helped yourself the last time would be very useful. This will help you understand what worked last time and use those lessons once again. I would also suggest that you contact a mental health helpline for further guidelines.

 

Credit : The Times of India

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I have started losing my temper

I am a college student who is very disturbed these days. My friends are busy with work. I am left with nobody. I used to message this one friend every day, but I stopped as that irritated her. I have nothing to do. I can’t even go for a trip because of this pandemic. Earlier my life was far more happening. I didn’t care about anyone. But now everything is affecting me. I have started losing my temper too. I wasn’t like this before. Please help.

I would recommend that you start with basic exercises and also pick up a hobby. It would be useful to get in touch with old friends or relatives. There are many opportunities to learn new skills online these days. Meditation would also help manage your anger. If all this fails, seek professional help.

 

Credit : The Times of India

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I feel depressed and experience severe mental trauma

I am a 19-year-old student studying outside my state, but due to this pandemic I am stuck at home and attending online classes. I do not get mental peace here – it was also one of the reasons for me to study outside. I used to suffer from depression after my sister’s suicide, but then I was okay after counselling, however, I still feel depressed and experience severe mental trauma. I do not have many friends. I want to talk to the friends that I have, but I do not feel like talking. I feel I do not matter in their lives. Please help.

This pandemic has displaced many of us. I can understand how difficult it must have been to lose someone close to you to suicide. You sought help and felt better, but the current situation is making you distressed. It would be better to seek help from your previous counsellor. I would also suggest contacting some of your close friends and trying to speak to them even if it feels difficult initially.

 

Credit : The Times Of India

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I am going through a huge financial crisis

I am going through a huge financial crisis. My savings are almost nil. Since the lockdown, business is down so I have no income and expenses keep piling up. I had invested my mother’s money in a company that’s unreachable now. This is affecting my mind and body. Recently, I have developed trust issues with the people I consider close. I got married this year, and with the increased responsibility, I feel I am not living up to expectations. If I speak about this to my mom or wife, then they would also be stressed. Please hemp me come out of this.

This has been an extremely difficult time for all. Let me reassure you that you are not the only one going through such troubles. Sharing your worries with your wife and/or mother will help find solutions. If your stress is severe enough to make you feel constantly low and causing sleep or appetite disturbance, it would be useful to contact a mental health professional.

 

Credit : The Times Of India

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He considers me as his sister

I’m in love with my brother’s best friend; I’m just crazy about him. But he considers me as his sister. What should I do? Should I tell him that I love him?

Looks like you have very strong feelings for your brother’s best friend and are in a rush to tell your crush that you are crazy about him.

If he considers you as his sister – it is either because he doesn’t have feelings for you or because of his friendship with your brother. If it is the former, then those feelings can’t miraculously appear.

On your part, how well do you know this boy? Are you friends, too? Or it is just a ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ relationship? What makes you sure he considers you as his sister? If you don’t yet know him well enough, then being friends with him is the first step to take. As regards your brother, have you spoken to him about your feelings? What are his views? Will he be upset?

If you want to respect your brother’s friendship and yet find out whether he will change his mind, then focus on friendship. If he still sees you as a sister, then you can move on without embarrassment and spoilt relationships. If he begins to see you in a different light, and the relationship works out, more joy to you.

 

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