Category Ask the Psychologist

I suddenly wake up from my sleep in the middle of the night and think about my upcoming examinations. Although I am preparing quite well, I am not able to sleep properly. Please help me with tips.

All of us have faced this. Proper sleep is very important before examinations. Stay calm and revise your portions. Have an early dinner filled with carbs and proteins. Stay away from phones and other gadgets. Listen to relaxing music. Go for a short walk and do some breathing exercises. Do not think about the results. Stay in the present. Before you go to sleep, do not talk to friends who are going to face examinations. Stop comparing your performance with others. Stay away from those who make you panic. Self-affirming statements such as “I will sleep well” or “Have a good sleep” will have a positive effect on you. Also, a warm water bath and a mildly aromatic room can help you sleep well.

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I am a girl in Class IX. I have kind of liked this boy from the beginning of the school year. I want to tell him how I feel about him but I get nervous and end up not saying anything. I am probably going to leave this year and vacate to a new place. But before that I want to talk to him. I know I am not supposed to have feelings at such a young age but should that really stop me ? Please help me.

Having a crush on someone during your adolescence is very natural. Such attractions are due to a lot of physiological changes. Having an open conversation is okay as long as the boy is able to understand it with the right perspective. Rather than getting confused about it, decide if you are okay with expressing your feelings to him. Of course, you must be prepared to accept that such feelings may not last long and so it is not necessary to suppress them. Talk to the boy if you want to express your feelings while giving yourself time to be able to be able to accept the change of place. You can always continue your friendship in a healthy manner if the boy also has a healthy attitude towards the relationship.

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I’m in Class X. I have high aspirations for my Board examinations. But I have a problem – I’m plump and it makes me feel odd among friends who are all fit. I want to lose weight, and I have taken many steps for it. I have also started cycling long distances. But it makes me tired, and I sleep early at night, which eats into my study hours. What do I do? Please help.

It’s good to take care of your physical well-being. It is not healthy reduce weight in just a few days. A healthy strategy must be planned to help you out. Of course, it is natural to feel odd among friends. I appreciate your interest and steps taken to change. You are in Class X and you must focus on your fast-approaching Board examinations. Any drastic change in your routine will affect your health. Before any steps are initiated to reduce weight, consult a physician to check for medical conditions and take proper interventions. Exercise and proper diet too are essential. A proper fitness specialist and a nutritionist will be able to guide you. But, you could do these after your Boards. Meanwhile, avoid unhealthy and sugary foods, and increase the intake of proteins and greens to help you stay fresh and active. Drink lots of water and eat almonds and walnuts regularly. Prioritise your goals – your examinations are a priority now. Love your body and do not give up. Don’t make harsh statements about yourself and your body. Healthy eating, proper sleep and exercise are important now. Practise breathing exercises too. Yoga can help you keep your body fit. Cycling is a good exercise but do not overdo it that you get exhausted. Start small and be consistent.

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I’m in Class IX. I easily get distracted by my mobile phone, and as a result, my homework remains incomplete. How do I handle this?

You are capable of doing well in your studies. You have identified the factors affecting your work. Mobile phones, television, social media etc. Must be used only to keep yourself connected with society. They should not take control of your activities. If you have the determination, you can control your usage. Fix your goal and aim to achieve your best. It is healthy to set your own targets to avoid anxiety and stress. To reduce distractions, the most important thing is to plan work – make time for everything. Allot time for television and mobile phone. Keep your mobile phone away from the place of your study.
Self-discipline is very important. Visualise your goal, and imagine how would feel when you accomplish that goal. This will motivate you.

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I am in Class X. My problem is that my parents fight quite frequently. I fear these fights are going to affect my Board examinations. Please help me.

For every student, a calm and comfortable environment to face examinations, especially the Boards, is important. Although the reasons for the fights and disturbances in your family are not clear, at this juncture it is necessary for you to stay focussed and do your best. It is not easy to manage your emotions when there is so much of disturbance. If you have not communicated your feelings to your parents, have an open conversation with them. Do not get involved in their conflicts but inform them that you are getting disturbed. Be clear on your goals. Visualise yourself doing well in your examinations and see how you feel. This will motivate you to prepare well. Do not study in a place with any disturbance. Choose a place and time to study better. Do your best and do not give up.

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I’m in Class X and I’m the school captain. I am fun-loving person. But after becoming the school captain, I have not been able to have fun with my friends. Since I must ensure that students follow rules, my friends have begun telling me I’ve changed. I want to spend my time studying and having fun with my friends. Please help me come out of this problem.

 It’s a challenge to balance fun and responsibility. It is a learning process and very essential as you grow up to become a leader. We play different roles at different phases of our lives. Everyone has their individuality and we need not give up on our self to fit the role. We have to learn to make the shift. It will be a challenge initially but when you are able to make the shift, you will be able to manage it without much difficulty. It is not necessary to compromise on the time you have with your friends. At the same time, you also seem to have the capability to be the school captain. Be clear on your roles. Do not confuse your duties with your fun time. Cordial communication can help you manage the role and also focus on your studies. There is a time for everything and take a positive approach to deal with it. When there are additional responsibilities, you must manage your time effectively. Prioritise your work and avoid procrastination.

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