Category Ask the Psychologist

I am student of Class XI and many students in my class are doing internships. I am really interested as well but I already have too many things to do. Do you think it will be wise for me to enroll for an internship?

Internships have a lot of benefits. I understand that you are busy. It’s up to you to see if you could spend extra time on internship. Here are a few ways that internships help:

Networking: You get to meet many people in the field and that could help you in your future.
Gain hands-on experience: Internships help you gain experience in a safe and structured environment. It gives you an opportunity to explore career choices.
Career goals: Leaning is an important advantage of internship. It can help you decide if a particular career choice is a good match for your personality, lifestyle, passion and goals.
Gain self-confidence: The experience helps you be more confident in approaching your ambition in life.
Resume: It adds value to your resume. Employers usually prefer those who have had good work experience.
Skill development: Communication skills and time management skills can develop during internships.

If you can balance your studies and internship, you can take it up during your vacation. You cannot gain anything without some extra effort.

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I am in Class XII. I have always been a topper in my school. I want to study only in the top college in the country but I have not been able to devote much time towards the entrance preparations as my Board examinations are approaching. All my teachers and relatives have high expectations from me and I am worried I will disappoint them. My family is very supportive too, but I feel low very often and get panic attacks. How can I handle all these?

It’s good to know about your future ambitions and are doing well at school. Having a goal and working towards achieving it is very important. But your ambition should not become a concern. Expectations from a good performer are natural and when you take it in the right spirit, it will help you work better. Understand that it is difficult to control people around you but you can always control your thoughts and feelings. Worry will not help you in any way and it will only reduce your level of confidence. Prepare well for your Board examinations now, and after that, you can always prepare for your competitive examinations. Do not waste time thinking about your future. It’s good that you have supportive parents, talk to them about your concerns.

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Congratulations! It’s a great feeling to have a little sibling at home. Of course, initially you will have some feelings that disturb you on the arrival of a baby at home. Rather than feeling insecure about it, approach the situation more positively. Talk to your parents about your concerns. Discuss your feelings openly and learn to accept reality. Ensure you are given the same importance as before to help you overcome such feelings. Your sibling brother will be of great support as you grow up. Help your parents in taking care of the little one. Do not worry about what your friends tell about your sibling. He is your baby brother and you have to support him. I am sure your parents will be able to understand your feelings and support you. Enjoy your time with your sibling.

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I’m in Class XII. I have a lot of friends and love their company. But with Board examinations just months away, it sometimes becomes difficult to ask them to leave me alone. They keep coming home or want to keep talking to me over the phone. How can I gently make them understand my concerns?

It’s good to be with your friends but having fun with them should not hinder preparations for your examinations. Be assertive without being aggressive. With your phone, you have control over the time you speak. You can always tell your friends you have to study and will call them when you are free. Good friends will definitely understand your needs as well. Here are a few tips to be assertive.

Understand assertiveness: Stand up for yourself without hurting the feelings of others. Speak directly and be honest.
Communication: The manner and style of communication is very important in being assertive. Pay attention to your body language and the words you speak. Never expect people to read your mind. Speak up for yourself.
Understand and accept difference: Everyone has their own viewpoints. Be open in hearing out others’ opinions as well. Don’t get angry or upset when there are differences in opinions.
The power of “I”: Never say “you”. Rather make it a habit to say “I feel” or “I think”. Show genuineness in your expressions.
Stay calm: By being calm, you make it clear to the others what you want.

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I am a girl in Class IX. I kind of like a boy from my class and I have been having feelings for him since the beginning of this year. I want to tell him how I feel about him, but I get nervous and often end up not saying anything. I know I am too young to have feelings for someone, but I should that stop me from liking someone? Please help me.

Such attractions at your age are very natural. Rather than being confused, open up about your feelings if that will reduce your anxiety. You are becoming nervous because you are concerned about the consequences. As you have said, you are very young for this. It is a stage when you are exploring your likes and interests. At the same time, you must be prepared to face the consequences once you express your feelings. Holding on to your feelings will only create more anxiety and worry. A healthy conversation with the boy will help you handle the situation.

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I’m in Class IX. Of late, I’ve been unable to concentrate in class due to the disturbance caused by my friends. Also, I’ve been spending a lot of time on social media, and consequently my marks are deteriorating. Please suggest tips to find my concentration back.

Disturbances and distractions are bound to happen as you grow up. It is up to us to take control of our actions and thoughts. We cannot control the people around unless there is threat of abuse. You have identified the cause for deterioration in studies. Take control of yourself. Do not focus on what has gone. Fix a goal for yourself. Plan a schedule. Keep away from social media. Have a fixed time allotted for your distractions. Self-motivation is very important for success. Keep gadgets away from your place of study. In class, if you need help from teachers, address the issue. Ignore petty matters and keep moving. Whenever you get distracted, visualize your goals. Tell yourself that you have a lot more to achieve in life. Appreciate your progress. Always be with people who are positive and encouraging. Welcome the positive change in you and look towards your progress and success. Spend your free time by being involved in hobbies, sports or any other healthy physical activity.

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