Category Ask the Psychologist

A female housefly can lay approximately 9,000 eggs in a lifetime! The eggs are laid on or near meat, often dead animals. Within a day, larvae (maggots) hatch from the eggs; they live and feed on dead and decaying organic material, such as garbage, carrion or faeces. They are pale-whitish, and have no legs. Their life cycle is from 14 hours to 36 hours.

At the end of their third instar, the maggots crawl to a dry, cool place and turn into pupae. These are coloured reddish-brown and about 8 mm long. From the pupae emerge adult flies. The whole cycle is known as complete metamorphosis.

Adults live from two weeks to a month in the wild. After they come out from the pupae, the flies do not grow. Small flies of the same species did not get enough food when they were larvae. The function of adult insects is to reproduce.

Picture Credit : Google

Weighing just 6 gms, the Long-billed Hermit doesn’t seem like it would pose much of a threat to anything. But these hummingbirds are feisty fighters, and when the normally solitary males come together to attract females with their singing and then compete for a chance to mate, scuffles often break out. One male will approach another and try to chase him away from his singing perch, and then the two will dance around, bobbing their heads and snapping their beaks. As the confrontation escalates, the birds attempt to stab each other in the throat with their beaks, using them like little daggers.

The researchers confirmed that only male birds had the longer, pointier upper beaks, and that they developed them only as they transitioned into adulthood and were ready to start mating and competing with each other. The adult males’ beaks were also able to perforate a plastic sheet more easily than the females’ or the young birds’ beaks and, in real-world fights, the birds with the largest and pointiest beaks were indeed better able to defend their territory and gain more access to females for mating. All of this, er, points to the sharp-tipped beak evolving as a weapon for male-vs.-male combat, says Rico-Guevara, and makes it the “the first documented sexually dimorphic weapon in hummingbirds.”

Picture Credit : Google

My parents are over-protective. This has affected me so badly that my confidence to deal with society has not developed at all. I am not able to mix in society. Also my dad has a bad habit of drinking. This frequently results in fights with my mom. They both quarrel so much that I don’t remember them ever sitting near me and talking a few kind words with me. They don’t have time for me at all. This has affected me and I have had to drop out from college. I have no urge to study. Please help me.

Your letter makes for painful reading. An alcoholic father is a terrible burden on the family. Your mother is the first to bear the consequences of an abusive and drunken husband and this affects her relationship with you. You feel helpless and lonely in a moment when you need the support and love of your parents in order to concentrate on your studies and plan your future. The consequence for you is “depression” and loss of interest in your studies. The only hope is that someone whom your father respects may get involved in this situation and help him come out of the alcohol addiction. This person could be a religious leader, an elder in the community or a close relation. If you know any such person, talk to him of your family problem (maybe along with your mother) and try to get help. Last, but not the least, turn to God in prayer asking for the gift of healing your father from that harmful addiction.

Picture Credit : Google

Last year I went to a dance class and my dance teacher became my friend. I took his mobile number and after leaving my class I began talking to him. I know him very well and now I’ve fallen in love with him. I share all my secrets with him and he does, too. But when I told him that I love him he told me that I might get someone better than him and ignored me. After that I never told him so, thinking about our friendship. He is my best friend. What can I do?

I believe you went to a dance class because you wanted to learn to dance, but soon you forget about dancing and rather concentrated on the dance teacher! From making him your “friend” you ended up falling “in love with him”. At the age of 16 you are not yet in control of your emotions and feelings and got infatuated with him. Fortunately, that man did not take you seriously and did not take advantage of you. The best thing you can do now is to leave the dance class in order to put an end to this hopeless situation. I am sure that your dance teacher will be happy if you do that.

Picture Credit : Google

My close friend is dating many boys at a time. She believes that having an affair is common. She says she’s not emotionally attached to any of her boyfriends. But in reality she’s over-possessive of each of them. She thinks she’s just being practical to have a short-term relationship with any guy while actually she is ruining her time and image in society. How do I bring my friend on the right track?

Your friend who “is dating many boys at a time” is playing with fire the fire of her own and those boys’ emotions. You are right in believing that “she is ruining her time and image in society”. Her reputation among her friends will get spoiled and, sooner or later, also her parents may come to know, with painful consequences. I appreciate your desire to bring your friend “on the right track” but no one can change someone who does not want to change. I suggest you could speak about this situation to a school counsellor (if available) or to a good teacher who could open a dialogue with her and give guidance.

Picture Credit : Google

I’m in a relationship with a guy since a year. I’m just 18 now and it could be just an infatuation and this is not the time people fall in true love which is all about trust, sacrifice, commitment and maturity and selfless care. We belong to different communities and it’s clear what might happen in the future. He’s the same age as I am and has given up drinking and smoking just for me. We really do care about each other a lot. We understand each other’s problems and make each other feel good at bad times. We fight like kids and get back together like nothing happened. We scold each other about studies and health stuff. We respect each other and feel like life is so much happier when we have each other. I don’t know if its love but I’m very confused. Should I continue being with him or just let him go thinking about future consequences?

As you don’t know if the relationship with this boy is real “love” or “just an infatuation” I suggest that both of you keep it as a good and enriching friendship, without binding yourselves in love commitments which you may not be able to keep. The fact that you belong to different communities should make you careful and responsible as you do not live in isolation but in the context of a multi-religious, multi-cultural country like India. Did you discuss this problem seriously with each other? Try to build a common approach to this problem and adjust your relationship accordingly. You may “really feel like this is love” but your families and society may think differently and react negatively.

Picture Credit : Google